What would you do if you bought a home with a mortgage that was almost triple your previous mortgage? And then you ended up needing to reduce your income to care for a sick family member? Today on the podcast, Jenelle Walsh comes to share her story of getting creative with her money and committed to paying off debt that came out of circumstances she couldn't have seen in advance. Jenelle is a licensed therapist, mom of two, and the money manager for her family. Let's hear her story.
Today on the podcast, we have Jenelle and she is coming on to share about some big financial things that happened in the last couple years for her family and how they handled adjusting what they thought the plan would be versus what real life actually looked like.
So Jenelle first, thanks for coming on and being willing to share. Thank you for having me. So can you tell us in the last you said about four years, what are some of those big things that have just come maybe out of the blue that totally defined what your finances looked like in the recent past?
Sure. Yeah. So I would say we had my first son my husband and I in 2017. We were in a small two bedroom condo at that time, very low mortgage. We loved it. We were excited for it, but once our son got a little bit older we were kind of just probably not thinking like financial wise, just kind of wanted more space, felt like, why not?
And we just one night just decided to like close our eyes and make the leap to a bigger house. And that's when sort of reality set in for me of like, Where's our money going and what are we doing? And just I started panicking. I think before then I was just like My husband really covered the mortgage and I was just kind of like living my life like doing having my full time job and just using my money for like side expenses and small little things and so once I realized that my My salary was really needed to be contributed to the mortgage, I started to panic and really started going into The like really trying to really hone in on our debt and really trying to snowball that and we started really focusing on financing and trying to get debt free And that was around 2019.
Okay, so at the time is this when you said that your your mortgage times three to compared to the condo?
Yes So we had lots of debt We had debt moving into our, a mortgage that had times three, almost three times our current mortgage.
And so at that point is when I knew we could, according to the mortgage companies, like swing it. But I just did not feel comfortable, like having all of this stuff going on with knowing that our, our mortgage was going to increase so much. So that's when we started really trying to budget and whichever way I could at the time which was just trying to plug away at getting rid of some of our student loans, car payments, things like that. So that's when we did that for sure. So it was, it was tight, but it was helpful at that same time because trying to decrease your debt at a time where you're increasing your expenses of a mortgage is like probably the perfect time to do that.
Yeah. Hindsight would have been better to not have that stress, but it was definitely a motivating factor.
Yeah. So when you realized that you had to contribute from your salary to that mortgage, what kind of changes did you have to make to the way that you had been managing your money in order to make room for that?
Like, was it a big shift in order to like give certain things up in order to do that? Or was it just little things that kind of made room for contributing to that bigger mortgage payment?
Honestly, I had to really take a look in the mirror and realize that, like, it was probably, I'm the spender, and I was, and I probably always will be and I realized that it's my spending that was probably the problem, I mean, probably combined, you know, just making those frivolous decisions of, like, where we want to, you know, spend money, go out to dinner, and things like that, but I think from that point forward, like, of course, having a baby helps, like, I didn't really care as much about, like, getting hair and nails and all that stuff done, but, I will say that that was probably the first to go, like anything that had to do with like maintaining like hair, nails, that was a very easy way to cut, and we also started shopping at Aldi's, budgeting the groceries like to the, to the "T." I I don't know how we did it, but that was a long time ago in 2019-20.
I was budgeting less than $100 a week in groceries, but I also had like a one year old. So, you know, he wasn't eating much, but we were at $80 to $100 for groceries back then. So that was how I kept it as tight as I could. But yeah, definitely different now that we have a second child and they're both eating like a lot.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I think sometimes when people think about like buying a home or adding kids to their family, we kind of sometimes think we have to have our ducks in a row first, but what I often observe in my own life and in other people's is once those things happen, then it changes the way we prioritize things.
So it's like, don't be afraid of you know, having your first kid when some of your finances are a mess because the fact that you become a parent then changes the way that you approach your money, usually for the better, you know, a lot of like exactly what you just said, where you're like, Okay, I have this kid that I need to take care of.
I don't need to, you know, get my nails done at all the time. Maybe I can do it once every other month or something. But it becomes an easier Pros and cons to weigh once you have certainly once you have somebody else that you're also trying to take care of.
The other piece of that is like the mindset with like toys and things like that really changed as well. Like, I was in a one bedroom condo and hated the look of a million toys and like not even getting them used. And what was the point of going to big home? We wanted a bigger yard. So anything we buy for our kids is used, consigned, whatever, because it's an unnecessary expense when you know you're gonna just throw it away or move on to the next age group.
So, like, toys are pretty much, my kids know they don't get, I don't think they've ever gotten a new toy from me, at least. They always go to Savers and, like, thrift stores and they can pick out something that way, but we don't buy new toys.
And kids like they're exactly the same. Like a used toy, it's exactly the same to a new toy. So I think a lot of times we project our own perception of new versus used onto kids, but kids do not care. I think the perfect example of that is when we got the used, the very used play set, the backyard play set last year. I mean, that thing is like falling apart, like boards are missing, like all that stuff.
And we got it for free because the family who was giving it away was buying a nice one. And I mean, our boys were like, Oh, we're going to call it a castle. We're going to put this up here. And they didn't care like what it looked like. They didn't even ask, like, how much did it cost? Or do we get it for free?
Do we get it from somebody else? So it is cool to have a kid perspective get added to the way that you approach your money because you're like, Oh, I could actually learn something from them. And maybe I could have a little bit of that approach with my own stuff too.
Totally. I think that's pretty much I feel like applies to any sort of thrifting experience and I love I love following when you like are on the hunt for like the coffee maker like all that stuff is so like to a tee what I do like I go use first because why Why go out and double your expense?
That's how I can keep it low. It's like, okay, if it's going to cost me $250 for the new guardian bike for my child, I'm going to go look for it on marketplace for a hundred, just a hundred dollars. Like, and so that's really how I, since then have kind of experienced every type of expense that has to do with my kids.
Yeah. Yeah. So a jump in mortgage and expenses actually made you a more creative money manager than maybe you were before, where before it was kind of just more convenience or ease where it was just like, you know, it's easy to go on online by the first one you see. But as we then experience a little bit of a squeeze in our money, it sounds like you became a lot more creative with coming up with ways to essentially get the same thing for a lower price.
Totally. And I would even say now, like, in 2023 with not having the full time job that I did do, I did have then, I've had to be creative how I make my money too, and I've had to find that in very small little ways of doing things on the side, side hustles, which is like very hard as a mom with like a part time career.
But like, it just makes you think a little bit harder about how you're going to like make that extra, that gap that you talk about the gap between expenses.
Yeah. So you mentioned leaving your full time job. You were working full time when you bought your house. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what led you to, to leave the full time job that you had before?
Unfortunately, I, I felt I really didn't have a choice. In 20, right at the beginning of COVID, we moved into our house. We probably had a few months and this brand new beautiful house with two full time incomes. It was great. We were ready to get pregnant. That was kind of the reason why we moved.
And then COVID hit, which is kind of like side piece of that. And then I got pregnant, my daughter, but all throughout that we learned right at the beginning of my pregnancy that she was it was a complicated pregnancy and we pretty much knew from the get go that she was going to be like, NICU, complicated medical issues. And so we just had to, like, trudge the journey through that maternity or, you know, pregnancy until maternity leave happened. And once that happened, I didn't have time left. I ran out of my time and my company was God bless them, but they were like, we don't have part time for you. And I was like, well, then I guess I can't work because my daughter's in the NICU and she's back and forth to Boston where we are. We live three times a week. So I was like, I, I, I can't work. All time. So I had to quit. Yeah. And so it was really, really, I never, I didn't think that would happen. I, I don't know why, but I just thought I could do it all. And it didn't happen. And I think it was for the better, but it was, it was tough to figure out how we were going to now afford this home with half the income, but it was. Good that we were debt free at that point.
Okay. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. So, where were you at in the other, like, did you have any sort of an emergency fund saved up? You said you were debt free aside from the mortgage by that point?
Honestly, 2020 is a blur for a lot of people, but I will tell you the, my most amazing memory, which is an interesting one. My husband has been hard to get on board with this. Like, he, he has been... Was I had more of the, like the car payment, I had the student loan debt. So I was sort of like chugging along on those. And it was like one day we were, when I was pregnant, we were driving home and he finally pressed the button on like getting rid of like his car's payment.
And he screamed out the window, like I'm we're debt free. And I'm like, like we are because your car payment was the last thing. So, I knew he would always come around to it, but we kind of kept it last and like, we were chugging away at everything else and then. We actually ended up paying for a car cash for him.
Wow, I don't know how we did it again. Like, we must have had some savings because I knew I wanted to go into the birth of this child with like no car payments and we ended up buying a car cash while paying off debt. So we must have had some savings. It's a blur.
So paying those, especially paying big things off like car payments, really offsets the hit of leaving your job because it's like, if you know, so I would imagine if you would have had to leave that job and you still had all like the car payments and stuff, you would have had to immediately find something, probably some sort of job.
I always look back and say, I don't know how we would have survived because we had over $500 in car payments, which is like, not that crazy, but we wouldn't have had that money.
That's a really important thing to point out. Cause I think sometimes when people feel like their finances are super tight, the only thing that they think they have on the table is like, well, I have to get a part time job or I have to like raise my income in some way.
But when we start to be a little more flexible about thinking about that gap, as it can go both ways, like you can increase your income, but you can also decrease those expenses that you're locked into like a car payment and eliminating $500 worth of car payments every month is the same thing as earning $500.
And you don't have to work so many hours in order to achieve that, right? So a lot of times it's like, even though it feels hard on the front end to put that extra money into paying down those debts, once they are gone, then it's like, Oh, now I feel like we got a $500 a month raise, but I don't have to go clock in for overtime or whatever it might be.
So I love that that. That at least offset a little bit of it for you.
And speaking of like the overtime, I think that's the biggest piece with my husband joining in on your worksheet, the template. It's been really great to see when we have that, like, the top part says like, we're only going to have a certain amount of money left in that bank account for that pay period.
He has the flexibility to take overtime and so when I'm looking down the road road at our expenses and it's been really helpful to have him be able to see that number wise, okay, well, you're going to have to take an overtime this, you know, pay period or pay period say we want to go on a vacation or we have some extra expense coming up.
If we want to have a budget buffer that we feel comfortable with. I'm like, if you could take an overtime at this pay period that will be really helpful for us. For this week or this month or whatever pay period that is. So that's been really great to to know, right? Like knowing your number helps you figure out like when you need to increase your like income.
Does that help him to like, as the person who is working the overtime? So it's not just like this constant, like, Oh, you always have to work overtime or something. It's more planned out. Like it's like, sometimes you don't have to, and then sometimes you do, and I can kind of show you why. Yeah.
And that is what we learned over the last like six to eight months of using the pay period budget, is that has been the most significant thing. Where he kind of hadn't realized where that like, you know, what expenses are coming out and when, and like, even if he gets an extra paycheck or whatever, it still might not always line up with what we need for that pay period because the mortgage is like I said three times more expensive and it takes a big chunk that week of the mortgage or that mortgage. So sometimes we have to like kind of work around that and just try to get in a little bit of extra buffer money there.
I love that, that you approach it that way. Cause a lot of people do have either overtime available or, you know, they do some, something like freelance or the ability to like sub or something. And so I love that you have taken advantage of the fact that you have mapped out your finances far enough in advance that you don't have to like, you don't have to feel behind the ball all the time of like, Oh, we're short now we need to figure out how to scramble and, and earn that extra money after using your savings or something, you can actually look forward and identify when that's going to happen in the future.
And then work one overtime shift or whatever he needs to do in advance. And so then the deficit or the small budget buffer that originally was on the budget never actually shows up in your bank account because you were able to be proactive about it, which just it goes so far in decreasing stress and feeling like your money is happening to you instead of you getting to decide what you do with your money.
Totally. And that's what we do have, like a savings account, like a, you know, that we can pull from, but just recently in your most recent stories, it's that feeling of when you want to use that. It doesn't always feel fun. So it's for us, like we 10 year wedding anniversary planned and I was like, okay, how many overtimes in the six month period do you need to do in order to pay that off so that we don't have to pull from our savings?
So that's been so good to be able to just plug those numbers in and almost like hypothetically put them in the pay period budget. Like, okay, if you do two overtimes, this is how much we'll have. So, that's been really, really exciting to see those numbers. It's been super, super helpful.
And not only to do enough, but also to not need to do too much because your time is valuable too.
So it's like once the budget can kind of also tell you, Hey, like you've made enough, you can cover that. You don't need to just blindly be like, well, I got to take every overtime that's offered to me. He can be, you know, be more choosy with, okay, actually we are good for this month and I'm going to spend the weekend at home or whatever it is for a schedule wise, which is really good.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So as so the timeline, you were debt free and then your daughter had to spend time in the NICU. So you ended up leaving your job. Was that like 2021?
August of 2020. So, by the time I maternity leave ran out, probably just around, actually, I remember I had to give notice on New Year's Eve.
So starting 2022, I actually didn't have a job. Okay. Had to start searching for something that would be flexible enough me to work, but be able to be around for my daughter's appointment in the morning. So I ended up finding a job as a therapist, which is like the biggest blessing in disguise.
And so I kind of just negotiated my hours and said, like, I only work like two to seven, so that's what I started doing so that my husband could be home and then I could go to work.
Okay. So do you still do that job now? You have that flexible, like two to seven schedule.
Yeah, that's pretty much like how we've, it's been able to fluctuate a little bit here and there as I've gotten older, but right now, that's what the only thing that's been working that doesn't really impact school pickups and you know, all the things that are little babies with medical needs. So yeah, so it's working for now and you know, we'll see how, how life goes moving forward. Yeah. At this point, there's no Foreseeable timeline where I'm going to be able to work like a full time salary.
And that's been like, okay, like an acceptance, but you know, we've made it able to make it work so far.
Now that you're in the midst of working part time, do you like wish that you could work full time or does it now feel like a better balance between full time and part time? Like, do you have a preference one way or the other?
Cause I know everybody's different with what they prefer.
I think it definitely is a better balance for sure. Like to be able to just be home with your kids and work is like the best. Yeah. I think it's just thinking about like how much money I could be producing and trying to do that as much as I can when I can and know that at some point in life there will be a time where I can bring in more income.
For sure. I had a friend right after I had like my first or my second, and I had done a similar, very similar thing to what you described. I left my full time job right at the end right when my first was born because I was a first year teacher.
So essentially the daycare cost was like just barely more than I, would have earned. So I ended up leaving full time and working part time. And I remember her, she was just a few years ahead of me and kids and stuff. And she said the time when they are super little and home is like one of the most financially strapped times of your life, but it's also so temporary.
So she was like, just kind of let it be tight, like find the part time jobs that you can. And like you said, as they start to get older and as they start to get into school, like you will have more options later. And I just, I think of that advice all the time where it's like when I start to feel stressed about how tight the money is, it's like it is tight and it's temporary.
So like, I appreciate the time that I can be with them and working part time knowing that pretty soon you know, for us, like within a couple of years, they're all going to be full time school and then the job situation can change, but we're just kind of trying to. Sometimes it's okay to coast, right?
Like to just kind of make ends meet, have a little bit of extra at the end of the day and not make these giant strides that maybe people who are like a dual income with no kids household is like, we're doing all of these things all at the same time. And it's like, well, that's just comparing apples to oranges.
It's just not the same.
That is the piece that I again, struggle with the same thing. It's like, you know, I I'm looking forward to the time where I can make more money, but because I know we can make more financial goals at that time, but that time will come. And we can just keep looking forward to that and having like that vision of what those finances can look like.
And I think that honestly, I feel like it's making it, it's going to make it feel a lot better because it's like those goals, those things that you're keeping in mind and you're keeping like a focus on is going to is while we're debt free, I think is super important to have that, that stress so that you keep focusing on those financial goals for the future because I think otherwise if I went in full time who knows if I would get lax with our finances and start spending yeah again since I am the spender. So I think this is like a good time for this to be happening because it'll help us keep focus on those goals that will matter in the future like for retirement.
Yeah, and you're still valuing the habits, even if they're not having the, you know, you're not making those giant strides, but just the fact that you're keeping that foundation of like, we're still going to keep track of our finances. We're still going to look at what's coming down the road so that when that income does jump back up, like you already have the skills and the habits and you're just in that mode and it'll be so much quicker and so much less likely to slip back like what you just described.
That's what I keep telling myself.
Yeah, I think I think it's very smart. Yeah.
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So as you made some of those changes, so now we're looking at like 2021 and now you're working part time and the mortgage is higher. When did you've mentioned a couple times that you now use the pay period budget template?
When did you start using that? And also why did you maybe try to find a different budget method?
Well, the reason why I mean I was following you from since 2021. I had to look back and I definitely bought the budget tool a while ago. I think that when I first opened it up, I think I even messaged you like, I think I don't know how to use this, but I think I just didn't give it time because I have my own like little piece of paper way that I did it. Once I really sat and I, what I really wanted to do was be more intentional with saving. And so that was like my goal as like, okay, how do I do this better? How do we as a family, but I'm the one that's sort of writing it down, how do we do this better as a family and once I opened it up and actually like really put the numbers in and saw how quickly It shows me how much I can save per pay period, how much I can fudge the numbers and figure out if I want to save more, where do I have to cut?
So that was like, once I really just sat with the pay period budget and put, inputted the expenses, which I think is probably the most overwhelming part. Yep, for sure. It was so easy. And then to just share that sheet, Google sheet with my husband and then really just be responsible for putting him his paycheck every time he'll go on every two weeks and he'll like change the number.
I have it like what I think it's going to be and then he'll change it and then. It just feels so much lighter to know that there's both of us are looking at the finances, the same spreadsheet, and it's not this one that I have to create on my own on a piece of paper, that this is like the standard, and this is how we do it, and this is how we add a car repair and this is how we do that instead of just like adding it on a little like sheet of line item.
So you said every other week, is that what, is that the pay schedule that you follow is a bi weekly? Yes. Yep. Bi weekly. Okay. Yeah. I often find that that's typically the pay schedule that sees the most of like an aha moment when they go from trying because almost every method is basically trying to get or forcing you to budget monthly. And bi-weekly and weekly are the ones that feel the most off when trying to budget monthly. So a lot of times when people describe like, oh my gosh, it was night and day difference between what I was trying to do and what I ended up doing inside your template.
Most of the time those are weekly or biweekly budgeters. 'cause it is just so hard when your pay date jumps around all throughout the month if you're trying to do a monthly plan.
And I do have like other jobs that come in on different timelines, but that's super helpful to then be able to put them in the right place in the budget.
Like, okay, so I'm only going to get like a once a month paycheck from this particular like, you know, income stream. Like I can put it in, in the correct place instead of like holding it in my head. Yeah. So that's been really, really helpful. Yeah.
So now that you're on this side of it where you've kind of at least adjusted to what between what you thought was going to happen in the last four years versus what did happen.
As you look back, is there anything you would have done differently either in the moment throughout the process or either like on the back end before 2019 in order to set yourself up for those things?
I think that knowing your numbers, which is I think as I see on your stories and you talk about all the time is like knowing your numbers is so important and you can say that you do, you can say you know them in your head, but if until you're writing them down, you're really what I've noticed is as a therapist and just for myself, anxiety will increase if you're bringing in your head and you're not like putting it down and really just trying to figure out how to analyze those numbers in a like more like manageable way.
It's, It's life changing, right? To really just acknowledge and it's like you can't really deny what's on the spreadsheet or what's on the piece of paper. You can, you can actually do that in your head. Like, you can pretend you didn't go out to dinner and you can just, like, think about it later. Or you can charge the card and then just think about it later when it comes.
But when you have to actually put those numbers in a spreadsheet or on a piece of paper, like, that is the difference.
So as a therapist, I'm interested because that's kind of a strategy that's not just limited to finances, right? Like getting it out of your head and onto whether it's like journaling or actually saying something out loud.
So can you, would you be willing to share, like, what are some of the benefits just of that in general? You started mentioning it of getting something out of someone's head. Cause I think a lot of times one of the reasons finances are so stressful is because we feel ashamed of talking about it, so therefore keep it in our head and that's where it balloons.
So in general, if you were, if someone's listening and they're like, Ooh, that's me, that's totally what I do. What are some of the benefits of getting it out of your head? Even if, even if the idea of writing it down feels scary.
I think that what happens to anything we're anxious about, and I think we all know is that finances is probably one of the number one things that people are stressed about if you aren't making money which is really hard to do right now in this world.
But so anything that you're anxious about in your head, it's going to keep spiraling into the negative thoughts, right? And so there's a chance that, you know, your, your finances might not be as negative as you think, or there's a solution that you haven't thought of, but if you're just making these loops of those negative thought cycles in your head.
Like I'm never gonna get out of this. I'm never gonna be able to get out of debt. I'm never gonna be able to get an increased mortgage. And those are the the negative sort of thought cycles that are going on in your mind, you're going to keep in that sort of state of mind. So I think as a therapist that I really try to help people see the alternative thought and also the facts.
And so your numbers are absolutely facts, but I think like being able to see that positive and I, I've watched you make those pay period custom budgets and like just having the accuracy of like, this is what you can do. You don't have to, you don't have to decrease your debt if you don't want to, but you're going to have to increase your expenses income.
That's just like. That's going to help, I would say, like if I were someone's therapist who got that, I'm like, well, that's like something you can work with, you know, that's like information that you can work with. So, that's why I try to tell my clients who are coming in financially strapped because of student loans.
I'm recommending this spreadsheet because it's $9. It's not going to put them in debt for some, you know. Instagram course of like change your life over. Like here's $9, like you're already paying a copay to see me. Here's just an extra $9 budget that could, you know, help you become like more realistic about what's going on in your head and in your finances.
So yeah, for sure. I highly recommend it.
I feel like to like a lot of the things that I learned myself going to therapy. I then also try to tell people as I'm building custom budgets, like one of the things I tell people all the time is to go from the super wide to the narrow when it comes to their problem.
So a lot of times if you ask someone what's their financial problem, they'll just say I spend too much, which is like really broad and it's really hard to come up with a way to solve that problem. It's like, okay, well, you spend too much. Let's put all your numbers into the pay period budget and see how much over do you go and when it actually happened.
And for someone to say, I spend too much, that's a hard problem to help them solve. But if I can help them go from that to, I overspend by $150 a pay period. That's something we can work with because then we're like, okay, that, that that kind of moves us towards action because once you have numbers, then you're like, okay, well, if I overspend by $150 a pay period, then my options are to either earn $150 more a pay period or decrease by expenses by $150 a pay period.
So many people are just like, well, I'm not a numbers person as if it's like a permission to not look at the numbers, but I'm like, If you're not a numbers person, that's even more of a reason to go ahead and write the numbers down so that you don't have to keep the numbers in your head because it is so much more helpful to, like you said, I think I think it is very true that so often once people see the numbers, it's actually so much less of a problem than they think it is, where people assume that, oh, if I look at the real numbers, it's going to be even worse. But our brains are so good at tricking us into it being so much worse.
And also less anxiety, right? The worry is I put it down on paper, and I'm going to be more anxious because I'm going to see the number and it's going to make me even more anxious.
But it's actually the opposite is true. Like you're saying you often I don't like I only know my own experience, but I, from what I know about what anxiety does to the brain, yes, it's, you're less, you're going to be less anxious to see the real numbers than you are if you're just going to go with it in your head.
And I actually think that your pay period budget, and I think just also budgeting helps you understand your own values with money. And I think that you're spending like a ton of money on this, that, or the other. If it's subscriptions or it's like, you can really assess like, what do I value? What are the things that, okay, I don't really care about this particular, like, monthly subscription anymore, so, like, I can cancel that.
Like, it will really help you narrow down like what your values and money are if you know what you're spending your money on.
I think the reason I made it to be able to look so far into the future is because I am a naturally anxious person. And so the like I know there's some people who the idea of the future is so exciting and like filled with possibility.
I'm more like the future is so dark and scary, and I don't want to look at the future. But I think that's why I personally like building out the finances into the future. Because instead of letting my mind balloon all the bad things that are going to happen to my money, I actually have a way to look at it in advance and decide, Oh, it's actually going to be okay.
So I have something to look at because, like you said, I think when we think about finances and financial anxiety, we feel like the actual money is what's giving us anxiety. But I think it's the unknown of the money that's giving us anxiety and a budget can, it can't solve all the problems of our spending and our income, but it can take something from unknown to known.
And it helps you figure out, okay, do I need to make more money? I think the best, almost surprising part of your pay period budget that I, like, was like, wow, this is amazing, is the annual summary at the end. And for me, because I put in my my income, like I put it all through, like, I know you can do like kind of sort of like as you go, but I really wanted to put the income that I anticipate like net in each one, but seeing that number, those numbers at the end are like super helpful.
So to say like, okay, I want to save like 30 percent of my salary or my income, like that is, that's where we're aiming is like how much of our income do we want to save and like, it's easy to forget that when you just are saying like, I'm going to put a hundred dollars in my savings account today.
So like seeing that total percentage, which I would never have known how to do that in my entire life to kind of make those little percentages. And I think it even does it each sheet, right? It does that you have saved. You know, 20 percent of your, your income. That has been really exciting for us because it's almost like a beat the number game.
Like how much more can we like save?
A lot of times, like you said, you know, all you know is that you transferred $100 into savings, but that budget can kind of give you the big picture. Like how does that little transaction actually add to the larger picture of what you're trying to accomplish?
Yeah.
So now that you're here, now that you're at this point now looking forward, so these are kind of what your last four years have looked like now looking forward, what are some of the goals you have on the horizon that you maybe are building into the spreadsheet? I know you've mentioned savings.
Do you have any like trips that you're working towards or do you have any things for your kids? Like what are some fun things kind of coming up that you worked into your budget?
Relatable to you, Carly a minivan. Oh, yay! My, all my friends and family are like, we just keep joking, like, we've got, we're gonna buy a minivan, we're gonna buy a minivan soon, but so that's been like, a very I want to, we want to have enough in our savings and taking out of that emergency fund and not you know, taking away from the ability to like go on a vacation.
So minivan is in our future. Awesome for it. So that's really like our biggest expense. And again, like we really found financial peace in buying a car for cash this time around, like more peace than I ever would have imagined. And so we don't want to go back and so like that's like a huge factor and goal for us moving forward is, and our kids are already like, when's the minivan coming?
We are trying our best to plug away at our savings to keep, keep that going so we can make that happen.
An important thing that you just said is it's not that you can't afford a car payment. It's that you don't want to, which I think a lot of times, you know, people are like you, what you if you buy a car in cash in order to avoid a car loan, it's because like you couldn't afford a car payment or something.
And like, I used to tell people that all the time, like when I was a full stay at home mom, like, it's not that I couldn't get a car payment. It's just that what a car payment would mean for the rest of my finances was not something I was on board with. So I'm sure you would qualify for a car loan and be able to find the room in your budget for it.
But you guys are choosing not to.
Exactly right. We could do all that. And, we could also dip into our savings more than we want to, but it's like, just kind of like having the patience and just like you say, care can, care is contentment.
So maintaining our car is the best we can right now so that we can like keep saving for the car that we really want. So that's kind of just like the thing that we are doing. We're just trying to keep our cars like as great, like as well running as we can so that we have enough time to buy the car we want without feeling like super stressed, like, Oh, gosh, it's breaking down today.
We need to go buy a new car or jump into a car payment. So, you know, just trying to save as fast as possible so that we don't get in that position because our cars are pretty old. Yeah, we know we're going to get there.
I'm in the exact same boat. Every time I, every time I drive that, '08 Town and Country, I'm like, please just keep running until we figure out what we want to do next.
Hey, but I'll, I guess we'll probably be on the same journey then. Yes. Yes. Once you buy one, you got to let me know. And I'll let you know when I buy one. Yeah. Yeah.
And all your tips are super helpful. All your marketplace tips on looking for cars. So I'll be watching that content very carefully.
Okay. I will.
I hope to do that sometime in the near future. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so interesting how everything is so interconnected. I mean, like we've gone from, I feel like a total fraud at this point when I talk on stories. Cause I'm like, well, it's 48 hours ago. I said, I'm considering a car loan and now we're selling our house.
And so like, well,
it's the reality of like, what your mind is doing, right? Like, so it's normal. I feel like I you're making me feel normal and I'm like the therapist, yes, that is it. That's how this is like the normal process of how like life decisions get made. Yeah, you're just along for the ride.
Yes, I would like if there was one thing people could take away from watching my stories and making a mess of myself is like that. If they could take away that there's nothing wrong with changing your mind. I feel like that's kind of a theme of my stories lately, and I would love if that was a message that people kind of absorbed from that.
Yeah, I feel like I've gotten that from you. I can tell.
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Jenelle.
This was amazing. And I was just thinking, like, as we're wrapping up, I'm like, the combination of What have you done personally? And then also the unique angle you have as a therapist to understand how the financial stress can impact the broader picture of your life is so valuable.
And I'm super excited that you were willing to come talk more about that.
Yeah. It's, you know, getting on that vulnerability train is. Like being a public, like having a public page and all that is very, very, very new to me. Like, yeah. So I'm like, okay, let's see if I can get myself out there and feel comfortable doing this.
It will be good practice.
Well, you did a great job. I think you should do more. And honestly, I would love to have you on again in the future sometime and maybe talk more specifically about from the perspective of a therapist, like, especially you mentioned that a lot of your clientele is younger and kind of just starting out.
I would love to do an episode sometime talking about what I, the things that I see from my perspective and what you see from your perspective about how someone like graduating college and getting their first job could set themselves up to be both mentally and financially stable and healthy.
I would love that. Because I literally am like going like into sessions and be like, Oh, Oh, like I'm so far behind from it that I totally forgot how intense it is right now was payments and deferments and all that coming on. Like, Oh my gosh. Like, so I'm like harp and preaching and all that with, but you know, it's a fine line as like, you know, a financial thing, being your, you can't be your, your client's financial advisor and therapist at the same time.
Right.
I cannot wait to have Jenelle back on the podcast to talk in her professional capacity about the connection between mental health and financial health. When we talk through stories like hers about navigating through truly hard things, like a child needing complex medical care, unfortunately, it's almost impossible to separate these life challenges from financial stress. As Jenelle shared her story, she reminds us all to get all of these numbers and worries out of our heads and into the real world onto paper or into a spreadsheet and start to address what is true. Her own story reminds us to be flexible and creative with how we approach financial stresses. She was humble enough to say "my own spending might be the problem, but I'm ready to fix it." She put a priority on the longterm stability of her family's finances over some of her short-term desires. I hope we can all take from Jenelle a commitment to see our financial challenges for what they really are and have the creativity to adapt to what life throws at us and at our budgets.
Thanks for listening to the Debt Free Mom Podcast. If you want to join me as a guest on the show, go to dfmpodcast.com. The Debt Free Mom Podcast is hosted by me, Carly Hill, and is produced, edited, and mixed by Kyle Hill. Music for this episode was written by Kyle Hill. Hit subscribe wherever you're listening to join in with every new episode as we grow our confidence and contentment in our personal finances.
